


Infinite

by Wayward_Elle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coda, Destiel Becoming Canon On 5 November 2020 (Supernatural), Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Fix-It, Jack Kline as God, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wayward_Elle/pseuds/Wayward_Elle
Summary: Supernatural post 15x18— what happened to Castiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Infinite

There was nothing but blackness, so deep and so dark that it felt endless. Along with it was pain, sorrow and regret amplified by a thousand. It felt worse than hell, far worse and Castiel couldn’t believe that he was back there. He felt almost regretful of his last choices as a living being but he knew that if given the chance he would have done it all over again, without hesitation. There was no question to what lengths he would go to save Dean Winchester. He was always willing to put the hunter’s life before his own, believing that it was his destiny, that it always was and always will be. 

The blackness suddenly cracked open, revealing a light so bright that it blinded the angel. He couldn’t see anything, there was just white, but he didn’t need to see to know who it was, he could feel him and that’s all he needed to know that it was Jack.

There was light all around him, his eyes burning as he peered into it. It was painful and he felt it tear off layers and layers of his skin until there was nothing but his grace left. The ball of energy hovering in all it’s broken glory, following the path the white light lead him to. It was instinct. He had no idea what was happening and where he was going but he went, unable to resist the demand. 

He was out. That pained and wrecked feeling he constantly had, gone. Replaced by nothing. He couldn’t feel anything anymore and it was like he was back at the start, back to the time when he was first created, nothing but a ball of energy ready to be formed into whatever being they want him to be. The first time was Chuck, and now it’s Jack. His father carved him into a blunt instrument, a soldier that was designed to take orders without hesitation. Question was, what was Jack’s plans for him? Was he about to erase the past twelve years of his life and turn him into that same soldier or was he thinking of something different, something Castiel could not even imagine?

A new body formed out of thin air, piecing together like a puzzle. It engulfed his soul and as it did, he could feel the blood flow through his veins, his bones moving, his heart beating and muscles tensing as he lifted both arms and scanned them with the brand new pair of blue eyes he got. His majestic wings were spread out wide above him, the light above them illuminating them and creating a kaleidoscope of colours spread onto each and every feather. They looked beautiful and they stood for everything that Castiel was. He was light and colours. His soul was spontaneous, his vessel extraordinary, and so were his wings. 

It was incredible and he couldn’t understand how Jack had the power to do that. It was certainly impossible for a Nephilim to achieve no matter how strong it was. There was only one explanation for it all. 

Like a baby taking it’s first steps, Castiel spoke reluctantly. He was not sure what he would sound like, if his new voice was different from the last but it wasn’t. It sounded the same and every inch of him looked the same.

“Jack, are you God?” 

The ex Nephilim nodded and waved his hand in front of Castiel's naked body, his beloved black suit and tan trench coat covering him up in a blink of an eye. 

“You’re whole again, Castiel" Jack spoke and Castiel frowned. He wasn’t the same Jack anymore and the angel could feel it. He would have been sad if he knew how to. He still couldn’t feel a thing, all he could do was process the information of that loss. 

His head tilted slightly and his brows knit together as he looked inside the boy. His soul was indeed different, it was his but it wasn’t at the same time. A bright white light infused with a black fog like type of energy, swirling itself around the light. It was Amara. 

“There is no need to worry, Castiel. Amara is at peace and so am I. As long as we live together in perfect harmony, the world will be at peace— complete peace" 

“I suppose I should let you be then" the angel said, another feeling he knew how to read creeping up on him. He was missing someone, and even though he couldn’t really feel it, he knew that that’s where he needed to be, that he needed to be with that person.

“I should find Dean” he said. He wasn’t sure if, after everything that happened, Dean wanted to see him. He wasn’t sure if he would bring up what he told him not long ago, if he felt the same. It was a scary thought and if Castiel were the same as he was before he went to the empty, he wouldn’t have had the courage to even think about going back. But now without fear standing in the way, he wanted to go back.

“The world I am creating is one different to the one you are used to. This world will have peace on earth, order in hell and everlasting structure in heaven. No monster will roam around the earth, no demon will leave hell and no angel will interfere with the humans. That goes for you too, Castiel" he began as he folded his hands behind his back and started walking along a shoreline that formed as he sauntered forward. It moulded before their eyes and when Castiel looked back, his eyes met with paradise. 

“Couldn’t you make an exception for me?” the angel walked beside the new God, the God that he help raised. He looked at him and he still saw Jack, his son, no matter how different he was. 

“I don’t think I can leave them behind. I don’t think I can be the angel heaven wants me to be" 

“You can" a smile formed on Jack’s face and he glanced at Castiel for a moment before looking back to the constantly moulding scenery before him.

“I need you to do this. To be heavens angel. watch over the humans and keep the other angels in line” 

“you are not to involve yourself with the Winchesters under any circumstances” he added and with a blink of an eye he was gone. 

Castiel wasn’t sure if it was a threat or not. He wondered what would happen if he were to simply just risk it all and hold the hunter one last time. He would hold onto him so tight and maybe if he had the courage he would kiss him too. The idea summoned a strange feeling in the pit of the angel’s belly, his tummy churned and his cheeks were burning red. He figured it out within a moment and when he did he smiled, knowing that even after the human in him has been stripped away until there was nothing left, his love for Dean would never dissipate. 

He watched the earth go round, the mountains slowly crumbling, the sea washing over cities and men commit the ultimate crime, it was almost like he was right back where he started— just an angel observing human activity. 

He knew that he shouldn’t have but he would spend most of his time watching Dean, watch as he mourned for him, watched as he found comfort in the furry little animal he adopted. He watched as Dean managed to pull himself out of bed each day and pretend that it was all fine. It hurt him gravely that he couldn’t intervene and at least let the human know that he was okay, that he was alive and watching over him.

Jack was gone most of the times yet his presence was always there, lingering in the air and in every little particle in the universe. 

“It’s a day dedicated to pie, Sam. Pie! It doesn’t get any better than that" the smile on Dean’s face was the most precious thing he had ever laid eyes on. He had been to every end of the earth, has seen the most precious gems and the most magnificent creatures and places but nothing came close to the hunters smile. 

He stood right behind them and listened to their conversation, he understood that it was wrong of him but he couldn’t help it, the sound of Dean’s voice bringing much comfort to him. 

He was tempted to let them know that he was there. ‘Just a little whisper’ he thought to himself. He could have done it, fast and easy and maybe Jack wouldn’t have noticed a thing. Maybe he would have been too preoccupied to even notice. 

He didn’t though. The Winchesters got into their car and drove off without any knowledge of the angel being right there. 

“I know it seems unfair. But it’s how it has to be" Jack appeared from thin air, resting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. He hated to see him go through that but he knew that there was no other way and that eventually Castiel would move on and forget about them. His time with the Winchesters was but a second compared to the eons that Castiel had lived and was still about to live. His love and pain would eventually disappear, if not now then in a hundred years and if not then, then in a thousand or a million. 

“It will get easier and maybe one day you will see them again” he added. 

“That’s not very reassuring” he looked to Jack and they traded an uneasy look. 

“But I suppose that there’s nothing I can do about it. All I ask of you is that you keep them safe, if you won’t then I will" he added. It was a promise and Jack knew that he intended on keeping it. He knew that when the time came, Castiel would risk it all again for that one man. He would let the whole world burn if it meant saving one man. 

“I can’t intervene, Cas and neither can you. You need to look at the bigger picture. Everything has it’s story and everyone has their own path, some might have longer journeys than others and that’s fine. It’s how it is and how it should be”

“I was never one to believe in destiny” 

“Except for my mine, isn’t that right?” Jack looked at him and there was a small smile plastered on his face. Castiel was the only one to believe in him even when times were bleak and it seemed that his destiny was far from being met, Castiel always had faith in him.

“You had faith in me, and now look. I will bring paradise on earth as I have promised to do. Thank you for believing in me" and with that he disappeared again, leaving Castiel alone to watch over the earth. 

He knew he had to stay away, to ease his own pain, to make him forget that Dean was there in the first place but he couldn’t. It was next to impossible so he just gave in, dwelling in his own pain each second he watched Dean move on without him. 

They were in Ohio, fighting against one of the last vampires to exist on earth, they just didn’t know it yet. It was rather difficult for Cas to watch and not put himself in between the Winchesters and the fanged monsters. He just had to watch, no matter how bad it got, all he could do was watch.

It almost looked like a soon to be victorious hunt but it all turned sour when Dean was injured, fatally. Castiel’s breath hitched, his eyes immediately watered and his heart felt like it was ripped apart, slowly, piece by piece.

There were only two possible ways it all could play out. He could obey the new orders, keep his hands clean and let Dean die or he could rebel, once more, save Dean and Deal with whatever punishment he had waiting for him later. 

He definitely couldn’t just watch as the man he loved withered away before him. He couldn’t let his sacrifice be in vain, he couldn’t let Dean’s grieving and his healing be all in vain. He had a chance to live a normal life and Castiel was adamant on seeing that it happened. He had to intervene. 

“Castiel, don’t. It has to be this way" Jack appeared once more, sensing that something was wrong. He had to talk the angel out of doing what he was about to do. 

“Everything has a season, this is his time"

“No!” he interjected. He turned from the scene before him to look at Jack. “I am not going to let him die. Not after everything he had been through, not after everything he had sacrificed to finally live the life he deserves" he added, anger clearly laced in his tone. 

He paced back and forth before Jack, a series of emotion flowing through him that for a moment, it suffocated him.

“Save him, Jack. Don’t make me do this, don’t make me turn against you because you know that I will” 

“You were always meant to rebel, weren’t you Castiel? Maybe I could stop you but maybe I can’t because maybe, this is your destiny— to throw away everything you have just for one man” Jack spoke, his eyes locked on the angel’s. He felt sorry for him, sorry that he was so broken and that no amount of fixing and rebuilding could ever repair that tiny crack in his chassis. 

“I can make an exception for you, only this one time. And it comes with a price” 

“I have told you countless times that I would give up my life—” 

“Not your life, your grace. All of it. You go out there and save him, and as you do so your grace will diminish and you will become human, you will live, feel and die like the rest of them" he interrupted. He didn’t even need to say it twice because Castiel was on board, no matter the price he had to pay, he would pay it over and over again if it meant that Dean was safe.

Jack disappeared and Castiel revealed himself to the Winchesters. They were struck but neither of them had the capability to react to him.

“Dean" he almost pushed Sam away as he grabbed onto the dying man. His heart broke as he saw the fear in Dean’s eyes, the fear that he might not even make it to heaven, that after how much he gave into trying to move on and trying to heal from his past and trauma, it meant nothing in the end, it meant that he’d die, that he’d get washed back into the ocean just as he reached the shore. 

“I’ve got you" Castiel barely whispered as he pulled Dean forward, releasing the rebar’s grip on the hunter. He could smell the blood and he could feel it trickle down his hands as he sat him down. 

He moved as quickly as he could, hovering his hand over the wounded area, focusing all of his energy on healing him. It worked and he could feel it—what Jack described. He could feel his grace slowly leave his body as it helped heal Dean’s. 

Five minutes was how long it took, it drained him and he could hardly stand after he was done. He tried though, for Dean. Just seeing him stand before him, acknowledging his presence was enough to make Castiel forget about it all. He couldn’t contain the feelings souring through him as he watched the hunter. It was more than a handful, especially given that he was human now.

The hunter cursed under his breath and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. He never thought that he could ever speak to the man again let alone hug him. It felt exhilarating. Heck! it felt better than that, Castiel just couldn’t come up with a word to describe the feeling. He wasn’t sure if such a word existed, feeling that the love he had for that man something so extraordinary and pure that no one could ever know what it was like. It wasn’t a love that humans understood, it wasn’t a love that the angels could understand either, all who knew what it was, what it meant, even with the lack of words to describe it was Dean and Castiel. They were the only ones who knew what their love meant. 

“I didn’t say it back” there was guilt in the hunters eyes and a tinge of regret. Yes, he never said it back but Castiel didn’t need him to. He showed it in his actions, and for the angel that was enough. But not for Dean. He needed to say it, he needed to admit it and know that it was the only real thing he ever had, the only thing chuck couldn’t manipulate. It was real and he wanted to say it.

“I love you too, Cas. So damn much" it felt good to say and for Cas, it was the best thing he had ever heard. It brought tears to his eyes as he let Dean cup his face and kiss him. 

He rebelled for that moment and he would do it again without second thought. He was destined to rebel, destined to be the broken angel that couldn’t be controlled. It was always meant to happen, no matter who wrote the story, no matter how much they changed the chapters. It was destiny. A broken, shattered and yet beautiful one.

**Author's Note:**

> Read All our own first for Dean's point of view


End file.
